Go read Jon Carroll at SFGate.com. That's an order!

JON CARROLL
- Jon Carroll
Friday, April 8, 2005

The following is the first communique from a group calling itself Unitarian Jihad. It was sent to me at The Chronicle via an anonymous spam remailer. I have no idea whether other news organizations have received this communique, and, if so, why they have not chosen to print it. Perhaps they fear starting a panic. I feel strongly that the truth, no matter how alarming, trivial or disgusting, must always be told. I am pleased to report that the words below are at least not disgusting:

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are Unitarian Jihad. There is only God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.

Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.

People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Startling new underground group spreads lack of panic! Citizens declare themselves "relatively unafraid" of threats of undeclared rationality. People can still go to France, terrorist leader says.
Michael row the boat ashore, and then get some of the local kids to pull the boat onto the dock, and come visit with jcarroll@sfchronicle.com.

Page E - 18
URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2005/04/08/DDG27BCFLG1.DTL

©2006 San Francisco Chronicle

Not Good News (Influenza A/H5N1)

[I copied the post below from NYTimes.com, July 3, 2006; but it's really from AP. Just sayin')

July 2, 2006
Avian Flu Tends to Kill Youths as in 1918 Wave, Study Finds

By DONALD G. McNEIL Jr.
Avian flu tends to kill younger people, much as the 1918 Spanish flu epidemic did, the World Health Organization said Friday as it released an analysis of more than 200 cases.

Deaths from the disease surged in the winter for the last three years, the report said, so a rise in fatal cases can be expected late this year even if the virus does not mutate into a form more easily transmitted.

Moreover, the report warned, the risk of the virus becoming more transmissible remains high "because of the widespread distribution of the H5N1 virus in poultry and the continued exposure of humans."

The median age of victims with confirmed cases was 20 years, the report said. The highest death rate — 73 percent — was among patients ages 10 to 19, while the overall fatality rate was 56 percent. This pattern has been noted before, but the new analysis takes in more cases; the typical age is drifting downward.

A high death rate among young adults echoes the pattern found in the 1918-1919 epidemic, said Dr. Michael T. Osterholm, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota. Scientists contend that year's H1N1 virus was also an avian flu that mutated until it spread easily among humans; although it was fatal to only about 2 percent of those who caught it, that was enough to kill between 40 million and 100 million people worldwide.

When the second wave of the Spanish flu struck Boston in the fall of 1918, Dr. Osterholm said, the flu death rate among people ages 18 to 30, which had been about 30 per 100,000 people in previous years, soared to 5,700 per 100,000. (The figure was for civilians in Boston, he said, so it was not confounded by the high numbers of deaths in troop ships or trenches in Europe.)

The annual flu, by contrast, tends to kill the very young and the very old, often from secondary bacterial pneumonia.

In the Asian and Middle Eastern countries where the disease is most pervasive, people of all ages are exposed to chickens, but 90 percent of the cases have been in people under 40, so something in young adults must make them more susceptible.

Unpublished W.H.O. data from blood sampling around recent outbreaks, Dr. Osterholm noted, shows that few people carry antibodies to the virus, so there is not a huge pool of survivors of mild avian flu.

Evidence suggests that many young people in 1918 and quite a few in this outbreak are killed by a "cytokine storm" — the body's own immune reaction, which floods the lungs with fluid. Young adults generally have strong immune systems.

The W.H.O. is tracking changes in the virus, trying to predict if it will mutate into a more infectious form and hoping to build vaccines against it in time to head off a pandemic.

Fatalities from the virus have almost tripled this year compared with last year. Indonesia, with 39 deaths, is close to surpassing Vietnam as the hardest-hit country with 42. Vietnam has not had a human death or poultry outbreak this year.

The typical avian flu victim is sick enough to be hospitalized four days after falling ill, and dies five days later, the report said. People over 50 have the lowest death rate, but it is still 18 percent, which is a huge impact compared with seasonal flu.

"The more we see what H5N1 is doing, the less we know about what's really happening with it," Dr. Osterholm said.


Copyright 2006 The New York Times Company

Health stats

Today I weigh 245 lbs.

BMI: 37.something or other

Height: 5ft, 8 1/2 inches.
Bust: 50in.
Waist: 49in.
Hips: 52in.

I had to take those measurements several times, because I kept "forgetting" (blocking out would be a better term) the numbers before writing them down.

I have never, ever, been this fat before in my life. No wonder I no longer have any appetite for foods other than veggies, fruits and seafood. Not even chocolate tempts me these days.

Unfortunately it is now too hot outside for my walk in the park. Per weatherunderground: Heat Index: 95 °F / 35 °C. I don't go walking much of anywhere or do much of anything when the temps reach that high. My body won't stand for it, and will shut down. Or threaten to.

So. This afternoon I can get some of the laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away. Maybe all of it. Then perhaps to WholeFoods for the whole chicken (for stock) and a few cans of white beans. (Yes, I know dried beans are supposed to be somehow better tasting, etc., but I can never get them to cook up right. So I used the canned. So sue me already. Geez)

Something I wrote elsewhere

Me:
Okay. I'm going to ask this question because, well, ... why not. It's a good one:

If y'all are so over your anger or working through it and well on the way to being "forgiving" people, (whatever that means), then how come y'all are still stuffing your faces with food gauranteed to wreck your bodies? Where, exactly, does that impulse to self-destruction come from, hmm?

Mark Twain: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

past your anger, my sweet patootie.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm taking myself and my anger out for a walk in that lovely, half-wild park nearby. While we still have it.


And I'm not going to delete this one, though the owner of the blog did not like it, to say the least.

Dear LaQuinn:

Such hostility in your post. You've hurt people with it, really unsheathed your dagger & plunged.

This blog is a safe place to write about anything & get responses or not, but to know someone breathed in your words & your day's feelings.

It's a blog where many women have stopped stuffing their faces, or WANT to.

Few of us have claimed to have forgiven everyone we've been hurt by. Most of us are actively trying to do so, are actively trying to heal ourselves, & to do so without food, or WITH food & a hope that it won't always be by eating.

Forgiveness, healing -- they take practice. Like an actress with a role in another language. She starts mouthing the words &, over time, the words become hers.

Then, too, if you read closely, we are specific about what in ourselves has healed & whom we've forgiven. I bruise easily -- any bump will do. Some of my bruises have faded, some are great purple spots, some are purple AND sore, some have healed.

Your question puts us all at risk by its vituperativeness. It diminishes our freedom of speech. & yet I & others have read it, thought about it, & wish you well on your semi-wilderness walk.

fmk

Am I wrong to be tired of all this? Yeah, I know the question was much more bluntly worded than anything those women would ever think to say to themselves, but ...

Is there no value at all in keeping it real? Hasn't anyone figured out yet that bandaids won't do when surgery is required? That actress is only ever acting that role. The words are those of the playwright's, not hers.

Betcha the blog's author and a number of the other posters go on some binges this weekend, the blame for which they lay at my doorstep. Can't possibly be anything to do with them! It never is.

And that bit about diminishing their freedom of speech! Dear God. She really doesn't know from restrictions on freedom of speech, if she thinks my post was an example of such.

Note to self: Keep your distance from addicts, fer pete's sake! You know how they are!